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Awakened Decision

There comes a time in our lives when we have to make hard, heartbreaking decisions. We have to come to the realization:

1. We can’t change anyone no matter how hard we try, pray, threaten, nag, plead or beg. It’s their choice. Only God can if they allow the Holy Spirit to change their heart.

2. If you yourself are drowning in your own pool of sin, torment and struggling reach out for help instead of blaming everyone else. Take ownership!

3. No one, I repeat NO HUMAN is perfect. Quit beating yourself up because someone can’t forgive you. Move on!

Surround yourself with Holy Spirit filled people who truly love you in spite of your imperfections and who will pray for you, teach and encourage you to mature and grow in God.

Get away from people who have no desire to help you become godlier and spirit filled!

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Me and Peter

I have to confess that like so many of those in the Bible who though chosen by God, still failed Him. I have failed terribly!

I can relate a lot to Peter, always running my mouth when I should be quiet. Boastful, overzealous and a know it all!

Peter actually thought he knew more than Jesus! Can you imagine that? Yet, how many times have I tried to solve my problems through means I knew were not in agreement with Jesus?

I am thankful God my Father loves me enough to rope me in and discipline me. I am amazed at the faithfulness and compassion God shows to me.

Remember the Israelites and how ungrateful and unfaithful they were after all God did to rescue them from Egypt, yet God in His infinite love continued to pursue them!

What a patient and loving God He is. How could I ever fail Him?

Lord, forgive me for my lack of faith and joy after all you have done for me!

Let me be a grateful and faithful woman of God.

Posted on by ejstan17

I want to discuss “Valentines Day Disappointment.”

So often we have preconceived expectations of love. I remember when Bobby and I were in our late 30’s and attending a Young Adult Sunday school class doing a series on marriage. Every Sunday I left class feeling depressed and unloved because someone would say “my husband runs my bath for me and lights candles.” Then another “my husband writes me “love notes weekly .” I was lucky if Bobby even said “I love you” to me. The enemy weaved into my mind the thought “your husband doesn’t love you.” It wasn’t until I was almost 50 I realized Bobby’s love language was works.

To be honest, even after learning his love language I still struggle at times because my love language craves affection. Bobby is Bobby. He’s not going to ever be the lovey dovey type. I had to just finally accept it. I choose to love him like he is. Praying and knowing God never intended for me to expect my husband or anyone else to totally fulfill me, only He can do that.
Yesterday I knew I would not get anything for Valentines. We don’t do all that, but yesterday Bobby washed the laundry in the basement and brought it back up so I didn’t have to go up and down the stairs- that was him saying “I love you.” People need to see through the eyes of God’s love. I have to pray daily too! Realize love can be expressed in many different ways and be grateful. Guard your mind and guard your heart with love.

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Thoughts on Job


Although Job had lived a blameless and upright life, fearing God and shunning evil (1:1), he was not perfect. He speaks here of ‘the sins of my youth’ (13:26) and says, ‘My offences will be sealed up in a bag; you will cover over my sin’ (14:17).

The mistake that Job’s friends made was to think that his suffering was linked to his sin. Job becomes increasing frustrated with his friends. They go on about ‘sin’ (11:6,14) and effectively heap condemnation on Job (v.5). They do not offer Job any real comfort.

Eventually Job turns around and replies, ‘But I have a mind as well as you; I am not inferior to you. Who does not know all these things?’ (12:3). ‘What you know, I also know’ (13:2). He points out to them that it would be best for them to say nothing: ‘If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom’ (v.5).

We need to pray for wisdom when people are suffering so we don’t just speak in “scriptural properness” but, demonstrate God’s wonderful love by our actions; being very compassionate and discerning in what we say.

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Through the Rain

For almost two years now life as most Americans had previously known it has ceased to exist. The carefree days of living uninhibited by the restraints of our safety and health no longer exist. Fear if we aren’t careful can consume our thoughts and steal every ounce of joy we have.

Having been mostly house bound and fear bound since the beginning of the pandemic I have begun getting out a bit more the last couple of weeks. I have taken up the quote “faith over fear.” I attended a live church service; went into some grocery stores and shopped at local shops.

Our daughter who lives in Marietta invited me to attend our oldest grandson’s basketball game in Atlanta this weekend. I must admit I was apprehensive and unsure if my faith would be stronger than my fear. I hadn’t driven to Atlanta in over two years, and it was supposed to rain on Saturday the day of his game.

Saturday morning came and it was so foggy outside when I woke up, I could barely see past the front porch. I had already checked the GPS to see how long it would take to get to the school. My GPS estimated one hour and nine minutes. I knew with it being the weekend before Christmas traffic would be heavy with last minute shoppers. Factoring in rainy road conditions and construction on I-85, I-285 and 400, I knew my GPS time prediction was highly inaccurate.

The game was scheduled to begin at 2pm. I left my house at 11:30am, stopped and filled up the car, went by my youngest daughters work and picked up an item, then picked up a sandwich and drink from Arby’s drive through. I pulled onto the already backed up I-85 entrance ramp and began literally just inching my way towards St. Ann Catholic Church School Atlanta (Marietta). It was 12:05pm.

An accident just before the Braselton exit had caused the sluggish traffic. Once I snail crawled past it, I was able to pick up my speed. “This isn’t bad at all,” I thought, it was only drizzling rain and the fog had already lifted. When I got to the Buford exit, I had expected traffic to be really backed up with cars headed to the Mall of Georgia but going South there wasn’t a backlog at all. Smooth sailing. I was enjoying listening to Christmas music and all was good!

Suddenly as I got to the Sugarloaf exit as they say “the bottom fell out”, it was raining so hard I could barely see my windshield wipers! I got in the middle lane and slowed down to a creepy crawl. “Lord, help me Jesus,” I prayed “please don’t let a transfer truck run over me.”

As I was driving through the rain the song “Too Faithful” by Moses Bliss began playing.

You are who are yesterday 
Today and forever more 
What You say is what You do 
You never fail You never change 
You are faithful till the end 
Faithful God, I worship You 
I worship You

You’re too Faithful to fail me 
You’re too Faithful
To disappoint me 
You’ve Proven Yourself in my life 
And I’ve come to Realize 
You are too Faithful to fail me

I began to just praise the Lord for his faithfulness! Through every storm, through every heartbreak, through all my sickness, even though I have failed Him, He has always remained faithful! He has proven Himself over and over. I do not have to live in fear.

We do not have to live in fear because we serve a faithful God. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. “Hebrews 13:8. When we concentrate on His faithfulness, when we remember who loves us and protects us our faith is strengthened, and we have peace.

📖 Romans 5:1-2 (NKJV)

“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand,and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.”

It kept on raining hard all the way to Jimmy Carter Boulevard then it slacked up. Traffic was slow but steady and me and the Holy Spirit had a wonderful time rejoicing and remembering all of God’s faithfulness. My spirit was renewed through the rain and a long car ride.

I arrived at St. Ann Catholic Church at 1:55pm.

Posted on by ejstan17 · 2 Comments

The Missing Page

Earlier this week I took my momma for a doctor visit, as we were waiting I picked up a Southern Living magazine. The front of the magazine had a picture of a delicious looking pie on the front cover. 

I flipped through the magazine until I found another picture of the same pie with the caption  “Atlantic Beach Pie.” I continued to search for the recipe ingredients. I flipped backwards and forward then low and behold I noticed the page with the recipe had been ripped out of the magazine! 

HOW RUDE! 

I was curious to know what was in an Atlantic Beach pie. It looked delicious. I had a decision to make–I could just give up and be angry because someone had decided to rip the page out and deny me and everyone else who picked up this damaged magazine the opportunity to know the recipe or I could focus on coming up with a positive solution.

I don’t know a single adult who hasn’t at one time or another had a page ripped out of their life. Sometime, somewhere in their life something happened that ripped a piece of their life apart. Many have had it happen more than once. 

Have you ever had a page ripped out of your life? A page you had hoped would provide you with the ingredients of things you thought you needed to have the perfect marriage, family, career, ministry or life?

I have and it can be devastating. It can cause great distress, depression and discouragement. When it happens we feel defeated and we wonder if there is any hope for us. I am thankful I can say—there is hope.

In the first chapter of James verse 5 it says “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” When we aren’t sure what to do or which direction to go in one of the best things we can do is go to God in prayer and ask for wisdom. 

After I got home later that night I went on-line and googled Atlantic Beach pie. I found the recipe ingredients I needed. Just like I searched to find the pie recipe ingredients it is always important when a page has been ripped out of our life to search God’s word. No where else will we find the wisdom, comfort and encouragement that the Holy Spirit brings than when we earnestly seek God through prayer and reading His word,

When you put your hope and  trust in Christ and as you continue to obey and serve Him, you will discover new chapters in your life filled with pages written by God’s hand of love and restoration.

There are many examples in the Bible of people whose lives were restored and transformed inspite of “ripped pages.” 

Joseph sold into slavery by his very own brothers, but restored and blessed by God to become Vizier under Pharoh.Daniel was thrown into the lion’s den to be eaten alive, but spared by God – not a lion harmed him.The woman caught in adultery was to be stoned to death, but Jesus rescued her.

There are so many we could name. The truth is we have a choice after a divorce, a layoff from a job, or an unexpected health crisis– whatever our ripped page may be. We can choose to move forward in faith or to dwell in sorrow and hopelessness. 

Keep seeking wisdom my friends.

Posted on by ejstan17

Off Balance

Off Balance

Somehow, with everything that is going on in this world the past few days I have found myself “off balance.”  

Have you ever felt that way? As if you just weren’t walking straight anymore. You are still getting up everyday and doing what you are supposed to do, but your legs are weak and you seem to stumble more. This is where I find myself.

I know God is still in control, I am just overcome with sadness with what is happening around me.

So much death and sickness.

So much strife and confusion.

Hate and destruction.

The constant pressure by the world to conform.

I have never lived through anything like what we are going through now and honestly – it is difficult. 

In the mornings I struggle to get up and get going. Am I depressed? Maybe, but this is something more. It’s more of a grieving.

Grieved over the way of life I once knew.  The world, country, church and family life I loved and enjoyed has completely changed. I am grieved because I know in my lifetime, it will never be the same again.

Life is full of changes and believe me I have experienced many of them. Some changes I have gone through with joy and others in great agony. Falling in love then the  adjustments of marriage. The joy of the births of our children then the agony of the teen years and loneliness of empty nest syndrome.

There were many unexpected changes I was sure would crush me forever.  The death of my baby brother, watching my child suffer from a severe illness, being diagnosed with an incurable disease.

Abraham, Noah, Lot, Ruth, Esther, Daniel and many, many others saw their world change forever in their lifetime. Yet, they stayed faithful to God and saw His hand deliver and protect them. I am sure there were probably times of great personal grief for each of them, but they remained faithful and they kept their hope in God.

My hope and your hope must be in Him, not on the world around us. I have to turn off the world, let the grief pass and let the hope of GOD be manifest.

May God’s unfailing love and faithfulness watch over each of us. May we sing His praises forever.

Psalms 61 NLT

“O God, listen to my cry!

    Hear my prayer!

From the ends of the earth,

    I cry to you for help

    when my heart is overwhelmed.

Lead me to the towering rock of safety,

    for you are my safe refuge,

    a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me.

Let me live forever in your sanctuary,

    safe beneath the shelter of your wings! Interlude

For you have heard my vows, O God.

    You have given me an inheritance reserved for those who fear your name.

Add many years to the life of the king!

    May his years span the generations!

May he reign under God’s protection forever.

    May your unfailing love and faithfulness watch over him.

Then I will sing praises to your name forever as I fulfill my vows each day.”

May God’s unfailing love and faithfulness watch over each of us. May we sing His praises forever.

Posted on by ejstan17

Giving Wisely

The truth is – you can’t be giving to everyone.

Some people, not everyone, but some people as the old saying goes “if you give them an inch they will take a mile.”

It makes giving complicated and it shouldn’t.

We should be able to help others out of love believing they receive it with a grateful and thankful heart. Unfortunately, not everyone does. With some, the more you give them, the more they expect from you. Instead of working to do better for themselves they continue to look to others to supply their needs. The sad part is they actually laugh and make fun of the people giving and serving them instead of being grateful and thankful. These people see those who are giving to them as “fools” manipulated by their sad stories and lies.

What would Jesus do?

That my friend is the million dollar question. The truth is Jesus would be able to discern without doubt the truly appreciative receivers from the manipulative users. This is what we should pray for discernment and knowledge. 

No matter who we give to- If we give with a pure heart – God will bless us. But, at the same time we should not encourage deceitfulness and manipulate behavior from anyone.

Search the word and pray over every single thing you do for direction and guidance. 

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

    and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,

    and he will make your paths straight.

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Estranged Daughter (ED)

Tomorrow my ED will be 36.

I remember finding out I was pregnant just six months after having her sister.

I was so confused and to be honest depressed. I knew their father was a mess. I knew by now he was not willing or able to take care of a family. I knew without doubt I would be on my own with two babies.

I decided to have an abortion. I thought it would be the financially wise decision. I couldn’t possible support and care for two babies by myself. I only had a high school education.

I called and scheduled the abortion for a Saturday. On the Wednesday before when I got off work I drove by a church I had attended when I was a young girl. I felt really drawn to go inside to the 7pm service. I went in and slipped onto the back row seat.

The pastor whom I had never met was preaching about the love of God, the mercy and goodness of God. That night I literally believed and know I heard God tell me “If you will live for me and trust me, you and your children will never do without.

From that night forward I have lived for God. I did not have an abortion and God provided for me and my children above and beyond financially anything I could have ever imagined.

My ED I have not seen in two years is a gift and a blessing and I have no doubt God will restore this relationship. If you are not a God believer, then skip my post, but if you are a believer then–I have no doubt what God can do!!! Follow to find out what a mighty God HE IS!!!

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Pasta Pieces

Earlier I put on some angel hair pasta. My Atlanta grand babies were coming to visit and they love my angel hair pasta and Alfredo sauce.

I had bought the new pot size box of angel hair pasta and I was excited. I turned the water on to boil and when it finally heated up enough to begin boiling I was easily able to put the pasta in the water.

No breaking of the pasta with little pieces flying off into the air— just—dropped the pre-cut pasta into the pot. Perfection!! I left the pasta to cook and became busy attending to the Alfredo sauce and garlic bread.

While I was distracted, suddenly I hear a sizzling sound. Instantly, I knew what it was. My pasta boiling over. Yikes!!! A boiling pot unchecked always makes a mess.Have you ever made a mess? I have.

Unchecked emotions get out of control. I may think I have it under control, but if I am not careful when I hold on to irritations they eventually turn into resentment. I may not mean for it to, but if I don’t deal with it spiritually, it will begin to boil inside of me like that pasta I cooked. It will keep boiling and eventually anger will explode right out of my mouth scorching whoever it touches.

James 1:19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

We all make mistakes, but humility and honesty with ourselves about why we are upset is often the key to management of anger. Casting our burdens on God and trusting and believing He loves us gives us the confidence to be free.