God Crazy

I am not crazy like the world considers or defines crazy, but I am conflicted and fighting a truly real spiritual warfare battle. It rages wildly and strongly. 

The desire of the enemy is to destroy me and you. He desires to kill our spirit, to keep us from praying. He desires to discourage us and keep us so self centered that we will give up and walk away from our family in search of self “satisfaction” instead of standing strong in faith and fighting through the battle with Holy Ghost inspired faith and prayer for our family. He wants us to give up and instead meet our own selfish desires.

Believe me, I am often tempted to walk away from the daily torments, but as the old hymn goes “I’ve come too far to turn back now! Does that mean I don’t get weary? NO! Does that mean my heart, soul, body and mind doesn’t ache and cry out in pain? NO! But friends, I know who my Savior is. I deserve death, HE DIDN’T”T! I deserve to be tormented, HE DIDN’T”!

I will not cease praying! I will not cease crying out to GOD! I will not stop believing in my GOD who has never ever failed me!!

I BELIEVE FOR THE IMPOSSIBLE!!!!

I BELIEVE MY GOD CAN DELIEVER AND SAVE!!!

KEEP THE FAITH MY FRIENDS!!!

Comfort Hug

Two years ago, after attending the 10 a.m. Service at The Jefferson Church —Bobby, Memaw and I went to eat at the Braselton, Cracker Barrel. We were feeling great after a powerful sermon and were sure we would beat the church crowd and just slide right into a table at the Cracker without any hesitation.

WRONG! OH! MY WORD! It was only 11:22 a.m. and the place was covered up like ticks on a Madison County coon dog. Bobby let me and Memaw out to get on the list why he searched for a parking place.

I see the little hostess upfront, tell her we have three in our party and give her our name, “Standridge, yes, Stand – ridge spelled just like it sounds.” She replies back “It’s going to be a 35 to 40 minute wait, we have a party of 19 ahead of you.” Memaw needs to go to the bathroom, Bobby is still circling the parking lot like a police helicopter trying to run down a criminal so I just say – “thank you,” and rushed Memaw to the bathroom.

When we came out of the bathroom, I finally spotted Bobby, but there wasn’t anywhere for us all to stand together. Everywhere I went somebody was touching me, bumping into me. I was having a hard time trying to keep up with Memaw. She’s only 4’11’ and she has shrunk a little at 80 years. I literally couldn’t see her over all the people and merchandise for sale.

Lord, knows my good sermon feelings was done flying right out of me. My anxiety was kicking in. I was so agitated. Bobby asked me a question and I near took his head off with my sharp answer. I began to pray and take deep breaths, “God help me to relax.” I moved back to the baby section of the store and began looking at little boy shoes. I spotted a pair of Choo Choo Train Sneakers. They were so cute! I picked them up and thought’ “these will be perfect for Calum .”

I headed to the check out, got in line and when my turn came I proudly put the shoes on the counter and said “my baby girl is having her first baby and it’s going to be a boy!” The cashier congratulated me as I beamed with motherly pride, then she told me the total of my purchase. I reached in my purse and searched for my wallet.

No wallet! I had no wallet. I suddenly remembered I had left it on the dining room table. NOW PANIC sets in! I have no idea where Bobby and Memaw are I am anxious, but sane enough to realize I can’t beller out Bobby’s name like I do at home over the lawn mowers. The lady behind me says, “Honey, don’t feel bad I did the same thing the other day with a buggy full of groceries.” I ask the cashier could she void the transaction and Bobby would pay for them when he paid for our lunch. She agreed and placed the shoes behind the counter.

I quickly took my high anxiety, embarrassed self to the only place I could find that wasn’t filled with people —the hallway of the bathroom entrances. I stood there and thought to myself “Girl, what did the pastor ask in his sermon this morning? —”Has there been a marked change in your life?” I cried, Lord, help me to trust you. Help me to look to you for peace! Holy Spirit work a miracle in me.”

As I was standing there alone, I see a woman approaching me holding a bag. She hands it to me and says “This is for you. I paid for your shoes.” It was the woman who had been standing behind me in the checkout line. I hugged her as tears flowed from my eyes.

Now, I was dressed in my Sunday best! I did not look like I was financially struggling. I do not believe this woman paid for the shoes out of pity. I have no doubt the Holy Spirit led her to pay for these sweet baby boy shoes to show me how much HE loves and cares for me. He loves and cares for you and me even in the midst of our storm. He will do whatever it takes to speak peace to our hearts. He hears our cries. The last three days had been extremely hard on me physically, emotionally and spiritually. I had spent the last three days seeking God for wisdom and direction but, I also need his comfort. I needed a hug.

I am so thankful for God’s love and his compassion for me. My God is worthy to be praised!.

“I sought the Lord, and He answered me. And delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4

Connection

In the book ‘The Gift of Imperfection.’ Brene’ Brown defines connection “ as the energy that exist between people when they feel, seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

When do you feel connected to others?

Do you think there is a difference between being connected and being involved?

During the pandemic have you found it hard to connect?

A passage from the book states:

“In our technology-crazed world, we’ve confused being communicative with feeling connected. Just because we’re plugged in, doesn’t mean we feel seen and heard. In fact, hyper-communication can mean we spend more time on Facebook than we do face-to-face with the people we care about.”

I admit I personally struggle with asking for help. I don’t like anyone knowing I need help. I am all up for helping others, but when others help me it makes me uncomfortable. 

Do you ask for help when you need it? 

On the occasions I do ask for help, it is only to a very small select one or two. I wonder if it’s because they are the only ones I truly feel “connected” too? Personally, I don’t think so. I believe I am connected to many people for many different reasons. I only reveal my true sorrow, wounds and pain with those I know love me unconditionally.

Who do you feel most comfortable around?