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Awakened Decision

There comes a time in our lives when we have to make hard, heartbreaking decisions. We have to come to the realization:

1. We can’t change anyone no matter how hard we try, pray, threaten, nag, plead or beg. It’s their choice. Only God can if they allow the Holy Spirit to change their heart.

2. If you yourself are drowning in your own pool of sin, torment and struggling reach out for help instead of blaming everyone else. Take ownership!

3. No one, I repeat NO HUMAN is perfect. Quit beating yourself up because someone can’t forgive you. Move on!

Surround yourself with Holy Spirit filled people who truly love you in spite of your imperfections and who will pray for you, teach and encourage you to mature and grow in God.

Get away from people who have no desire to help you become godlier and spirit filled!

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Me and Peter

I have to confess that like so many of those in the Bible who though chosen by God, still failed Him. I have failed terribly!

I can relate a lot to Peter, always running my mouth when I should be quiet. Boastful, overzealous and a know it all!

Peter actually thought he knew more than Jesus! Can you imagine that? Yet, how many times have I tried to solve my problems through means I knew were not in agreement with Jesus?

I am thankful God my Father loves me enough to rope me in and discipline me. I am amazed at the faithfulness and compassion God shows to me.

Remember the Israelites and how ungrateful and unfaithful they were after all God did to rescue them from Egypt, yet God in His infinite love continued to pursue them!

What a patient and loving God He is. How could I ever fail Him?

Lord, forgive me for my lack of faith and joy after all you have done for me!

Let me be a grateful and faithful woman of God.

Posted on by ejstan17

I want to discuss “Valentines Day Disappointment.”

So often we have preconceived expectations of love. I remember when Bobby and I were in our late 30’s and attending a Young Adult Sunday school class doing a series on marriage. Every Sunday I left class feeling depressed and unloved because someone would say “my husband runs my bath for me and lights candles.” Then another “my husband writes me “love notes weekly .” I was lucky if Bobby even said “I love you” to me. The enemy weaved into my mind the thought “your husband doesn’t love you.” It wasn’t until I was almost 50 I realized Bobby’s love language was works.

To be honest, even after learning his love language I still struggle at times because my love language craves affection. Bobby is Bobby. He’s not going to ever be the lovey dovey type. I had to just finally accept it. I choose to love him like he is. Praying and knowing God never intended for me to expect my husband or anyone else to totally fulfill me, only He can do that.
Yesterday I knew I would not get anything for Valentines. We don’t do all that, but yesterday Bobby washed the laundry in the basement and brought it back up so I didn’t have to go up and down the stairs- that was him saying “I love you.” People need to see through the eyes of God’s love. I have to pray daily too! Realize love can be expressed in many different ways and be grateful. Guard your mind and guard your heart with love.

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Thoughts on Job


Although Job had lived a blameless and upright life, fearing God and shunning evil (1:1), he was not perfect. He speaks here of ‘the sins of my youth’ (13:26) and says, ‘My offences will be sealed up in a bag; you will cover over my sin’ (14:17).

The mistake that Job’s friends made was to think that his suffering was linked to his sin. Job becomes increasing frustrated with his friends. They go on about ‘sin’ (11:6,14) and effectively heap condemnation on Job (v.5). They do not offer Job any real comfort.

Eventually Job turns around and replies, ‘But I have a mind as well as you; I am not inferior to you. Who does not know all these things?’ (12:3). ‘What you know, I also know’ (13:2). He points out to them that it would be best for them to say nothing: ‘If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom’ (v.5).

We need to pray for wisdom when people are suffering so we don’t just speak in “scriptural properness” but, demonstrate God’s wonderful love by our actions; being very compassionate and discerning in what we say.

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Through the Rain

For almost two years now life as most Americans had previously known it has ceased to exist. The carefree days of living uninhibited by the restraints of our safety and health no longer exist. Fear if we aren’t careful can consume our thoughts and steal every ounce of joy we have.

Having been mostly house bound and fear bound since the beginning of the pandemic I have begun getting out a bit more the last couple of weeks. I have taken up the quote “faith over fear.” I attended a live church service; went into some grocery stores and shopped at local shops.

Our daughter who lives in Marietta invited me to attend our oldest grandson’s basketball game in Atlanta this weekend. I must admit I was apprehensive and unsure if my faith would be stronger than my fear. I hadn’t driven to Atlanta in over two years, and it was supposed to rain on Saturday the day of his game.

Saturday morning came and it was so foggy outside when I woke up, I could barely see past the front porch. I had already checked the GPS to see how long it would take to get to the school. My GPS estimated one hour and nine minutes. I knew with it being the weekend before Christmas traffic would be heavy with last minute shoppers. Factoring in rainy road conditions and construction on I-85, I-285 and 400, I knew my GPS time prediction was highly inaccurate.

The game was scheduled to begin at 2pm. I left my house at 11:30am, stopped and filled up the car, went by my youngest daughters work and picked up an item, then picked up a sandwich and drink from Arby’s drive through. I pulled onto the already backed up I-85 entrance ramp and began literally just inching my way towards St. Ann Catholic Church School Atlanta (Marietta). It was 12:05pm.

An accident just before the Braselton exit had caused the sluggish traffic. Once I snail crawled past it, I was able to pick up my speed. “This isn’t bad at all,” I thought, it was only drizzling rain and the fog had already lifted. When I got to the Buford exit, I had expected traffic to be really backed up with cars headed to the Mall of Georgia but going South there wasn’t a backlog at all. Smooth sailing. I was enjoying listening to Christmas music and all was good!

Suddenly as I got to the Sugarloaf exit as they say “the bottom fell out”, it was raining so hard I could barely see my windshield wipers! I got in the middle lane and slowed down to a creepy crawl. “Lord, help me Jesus,” I prayed “please don’t let a transfer truck run over me.”

As I was driving through the rain the song “Too Faithful” by Moses Bliss began playing.

You are who are yesterday 
Today and forever more 
What You say is what You do 
You never fail You never change 
You are faithful till the end 
Faithful God, I worship You 
I worship You

You’re too Faithful to fail me 
You’re too Faithful
To disappoint me 
You’ve Proven Yourself in my life 
And I’ve come to Realize 
You are too Faithful to fail me

I began to just praise the Lord for his faithfulness! Through every storm, through every heartbreak, through all my sickness, even though I have failed Him, He has always remained faithful! He has proven Himself over and over. I do not have to live in fear.

We do not have to live in fear because we serve a faithful God. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. “Hebrews 13:8. When we concentrate on His faithfulness, when we remember who loves us and protects us our faith is strengthened, and we have peace.

📖 Romans 5:1-2 (NKJV)

“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand,and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.”

It kept on raining hard all the way to Jimmy Carter Boulevard then it slacked up. Traffic was slow but steady and me and the Holy Spirit had a wonderful time rejoicing and remembering all of God’s faithfulness. My spirit was renewed through the rain and a long car ride.

I arrived at St. Ann Catholic Church at 1:55pm.

Posted on by ejstan17

God Crazy

I am not crazy like the world considers or defines crazy, but I am conflicted and fighting a truly real spiritual warfare battle. It rages wildly and strongly. 

The desire of the enemy is to destroy me and you. He desires to kill our spirit, to keep us from praying. He desires to discourage us and keep us so self centered that we will give up and walk away from our family in search of self “satisfaction” instead of standing strong in faith and fighting through the battle with Holy Ghost inspired faith and prayer for our family. He wants us to give up and instead meet our own selfish desires.

Believe me, I am often tempted to walk away from the daily torments, but as the old hymn goes “I’ve come too far to turn back now! Does that mean I don’t get weary? NO! Does that mean my heart, soul, body and mind doesn’t ache and cry out in pain? NO! But friends, I know who my Savior is. I deserve death, HE DIDN’T”T! I deserve to be tormented, HE DIDN’T”!

I will not cease praying! I will not cease crying out to GOD! I will not stop believing in my GOD who has never ever failed me!!

I BELIEVE FOR THE IMPOSSIBLE!!!!

I BELIEVE MY GOD CAN DELIEVER AND SAVE!!!

KEEP THE FAITH MY FRIENDS!!!

Posted on by ejstan17

Comfort Hug

Two years ago, after attending the 10 a.m. Service at The Jefferson Church —Bobby, Memaw and I went to eat at the Braselton, Cracker Barrel. We were feeling great after a powerful sermon and were sure we would beat the church crowd and just slide right into a table at the Cracker without any hesitation.

WRONG! OH! MY WORD! It was only 11:22 a.m. and the place was covered up like ticks on a Madison County coon dog. Bobby let me and Memaw out to get on the list why he searched for a parking place.

I see the little hostess upfront, tell her we have three in our party and give her our name, “Standridge, yes, Stand – ridge spelled just like it sounds.” She replies back “It’s going to be a 35 to 40 minute wait, we have a party of 19 ahead of you.” Memaw needs to go to the bathroom, Bobby is still circling the parking lot like a police helicopter trying to run down a criminal so I just say – “thank you,” and rushed Memaw to the bathroom.

When we came out of the bathroom, I finally spotted Bobby, but there wasn’t anywhere for us all to stand together. Everywhere I went somebody was touching me, bumping into me. I was having a hard time trying to keep up with Memaw. She’s only 4’11’ and she has shrunk a little at 80 years. I literally couldn’t see her over all the people and merchandise for sale.

Lord, knows my good sermon feelings was done flying right out of me. My anxiety was kicking in. I was so agitated. Bobby asked me a question and I near took his head off with my sharp answer. I began to pray and take deep breaths, “God help me to relax.” I moved back to the baby section of the store and began looking at little boy shoes. I spotted a pair of Choo Choo Train Sneakers. They were so cute! I picked them up and thought’ “these will be perfect for Calum .”

I headed to the check out, got in line and when my turn came I proudly put the shoes on the counter and said “my baby girl is having her first baby and it’s going to be a boy!” The cashier congratulated me as I beamed with motherly pride, then she told me the total of my purchase. I reached in my purse and searched for my wallet.

No wallet! I had no wallet. I suddenly remembered I had left it on the dining room table. NOW PANIC sets in! I have no idea where Bobby and Memaw are I am anxious, but sane enough to realize I can’t beller out Bobby’s name like I do at home over the lawn mowers. The lady behind me says, “Honey, don’t feel bad I did the same thing the other day with a buggy full of groceries.” I ask the cashier could she void the transaction and Bobby would pay for them when he paid for our lunch. She agreed and placed the shoes behind the counter.

I quickly took my high anxiety, embarrassed self to the only place I could find that wasn’t filled with people —the hallway of the bathroom entrances. I stood there and thought to myself “Girl, what did the pastor ask in his sermon this morning? —”Has there been a marked change in your life?” I cried, Lord, help me to trust you. Help me to look to you for peace! Holy Spirit work a miracle in me.”

As I was standing there alone, I see a woman approaching me holding a bag. She hands it to me and says “This is for you. I paid for your shoes.” It was the woman who had been standing behind me in the checkout line. I hugged her as tears flowed from my eyes.

Now, I was dressed in my Sunday best! I did not look like I was financially struggling. I do not believe this woman paid for the shoes out of pity. I have no doubt the Holy Spirit led her to pay for these sweet baby boy shoes to show me how much HE loves and cares for me. He loves and cares for you and me even in the midst of our storm. He will do whatever it takes to speak peace to our hearts. He hears our cries. The last three days had been extremely hard on me physically, emotionally and spiritually. I had spent the last three days seeking God for wisdom and direction but, I also need his comfort. I needed a hug.

I am so thankful for God’s love and his compassion for me. My God is worthy to be praised!.

“I sought the Lord, and He answered me. And delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4

Posted on by ejstan17

Connection

In the book ‘The Gift of Imperfection.’ Brene’ Brown defines connection “ as the energy that exist between people when they feel, seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

When do you feel connected to others?

Do you think there is a difference between being connected and being involved?

During the pandemic have you found it hard to connect?

A passage from the book states:

“In our technology-crazed world, we’ve confused being communicative with feeling connected. Just because we’re plugged in, doesn’t mean we feel seen and heard. In fact, hyper-communication can mean we spend more time on Facebook than we do face-to-face with the people we care about.”

I admit I personally struggle with asking for help. I don’t like anyone knowing I need help. I am all up for helping others, but when others help me it makes me uncomfortable. 

Do you ask for help when you need it? 

On the occasions I do ask for help, it is only to a very small select one or two. I wonder if it’s because they are the only ones I truly feel “connected” too? Personally, I don’t think so. I believe I am connected to many people for many different reasons. I only reveal my true sorrow, wounds and pain with those I know love me unconditionally.

Who do you feel most comfortable around?